Tuesday
09Dec2008
"Tis the season to be ungrateful
Tuesday, December 9, 2008 at 7:09PM
It's Christmas morning and you've jumped out of bed, thrown on your dressing gown and run down the stairs. You begin tearing paper off the multitude of wonderful presents under the tree, smiling and nodding with excitement at each lovely gift, until you come to one where you pause and think, 'what possessed you to get this ridiculous item?'
We've all had presents like that but we keep our mouths shut and store it in the back of the cupboard only to find it years later during a spring clean. These are a few things I've seen and thought 'why?' 'what's the point of that?' You may disagree and feel that the following items do serve a useful purpose, but you'd be wrong.
So when your nearest and dearest are browsing in a department store and I say "I know what she needs, a musical cake slice!", you may want to take out a court injunction against them. Surely there can be no void in your culinary world that could be filled with a musical cake slice. Completely pointless!
1.
2. So you enjoy cooking and you don't want to get your clothes dirty, but do you really have to wear this monstrosity? Nothing says tacky quite like a muscly man in tight pants on your apron. This is the sort of thing some aging Dad wears whilst successfully cremating sausages on the BBQ and chugging down a can of Fosters. Do you think Gordon Ramsay would be caught dead in this? It's not big and it's not clever.
3. An Antony Worrall Thompson cook book. Need I say more?
4. Ok, we've all got less time for cooking these days and many of us would rather spend some of that time sitting on the sofa with a glass of wine, but have we really got that lazy that we need an electric cheese grater. Surely it takes longer trying to fiddle about putting the cheese into the damn thing than it takes to just grate it yourself. Why not buy a chef to make the whole meal for you and be done with it! Might struggle to fit him under the Christmas tree though.
5.There aren't many times in my life that I have felt it necessary to have a novelty wine bottle holder, not least because a bottle of wine never stays unopened or unconsumed for long in our house. Surely the following item comes under the heading of mindless clutter. I imagine a normal wine rack full of nice wine would be better received.
Well that about tops my list of inane presents I would not be best pleased to receive. If you have been presented with any silly presents from the culinary world I would be interested to hear from you.
We've all had presents like that but we keep our mouths shut and store it in the back of the cupboard only to find it years later during a spring clean. These are a few things I've seen and thought 'why?' 'what's the point of that?' You may disagree and feel that the following items do serve a useful purpose, but you'd be wrong.
So when your nearest and dearest are browsing in a department store and I say "I know what she needs, a musical cake slice!", you may want to take out a court injunction against them. Surely there can be no void in your culinary world that could be filled with a musical cake slice. Completely pointless!
1.
2. So you enjoy cooking and you don't want to get your clothes dirty, but do you really have to wear this monstrosity? Nothing says tacky quite like a muscly man in tight pants on your apron. This is the sort of thing some aging Dad wears whilst successfully cremating sausages on the BBQ and chugging down a can of Fosters. Do you think Gordon Ramsay would be caught dead in this? It's not big and it's not clever.
3. An Antony Worrall Thompson cook book. Need I say more?
4. Ok, we've all got less time for cooking these days and many of us would rather spend some of that time sitting on the sofa with a glass of wine, but have we really got that lazy that we need an electric cheese grater. Surely it takes longer trying to fiddle about putting the cheese into the damn thing than it takes to just grate it yourself. Why not buy a chef to make the whole meal for you and be done with it! Might struggle to fit him under the Christmas tree though.
5.There aren't many times in my life that I have felt it necessary to have a novelty wine bottle holder, not least because a bottle of wine never stays unopened or unconsumed for long in our house. Surely the following item comes under the heading of mindless clutter. I imagine a normal wine rack full of nice wine would be better received.
Well that about tops my list of inane presents I would not be best pleased to receive. If you have been presented with any silly presents from the culinary world I would be interested to hear from you.